80% of the time I despise being a female. Not that I’m transgender – no, no. Purely because I’m lazy and being a female takes effort, one which I just can’t be bothered with.

Being a “lady” sucks. I HATE having to shave my legs every two days, putting on make up takes 20 minutes out of my sleeping time which I looooaaaaaath because there is nothing I love more than sleeping, except maybe a buffet breakfast. Waxing – ugh. Heels – don’t get me started.

(And I wonder why my brother calls me Helga….)

That’s not to say that I don’t make an effort, on occasions I do. What I can’t fathom is how some girls (/females/women, whatever) manage to look perfect ALL THE GOD DAM TIME?!

And the thing is we all know one. We went to school with one, we work with one. You can’t escape them.

She’s the Marnie from ‘Girls’ (well maybe pre-season 2), she’s a Natalie Portman, she’s an Emma Watson type, generally the person who seems like they’ve got their shit together.

You know the type – impeccable style complimented by their long perfect hair,  studying some fancy nancy degree and who’s facebook photos looks like they should be in a magazine.
Clean cut, preppy girls, who’s life basically seems instagramed – Ugh.


In them, I see what I lack I can’t help but resent them. They make me wanna take more pride in my appearance and reevaluate my life choices but then again, I can’t be assed.
The amount of effort and self control it must take to be a Marnie looks exhausting.
Let loose gurl!! stumble out of a club every now and then – get shitfaced – trip up – embrace the ugly photos. There doesn’t seem much fun in being perfect.

If you’v got the time and effort to be a Marnie, then respect gurl, respect. You give me something to strive for, but me? I’ll stick to being a Hannah for the time being. Getting shitfaced in a mesh top with no bra on seems like more fun. But then again I have no dignity…